you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
