I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
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And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
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Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize