It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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