shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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