I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize