the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
