all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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