So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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