for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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