don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
