your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
