JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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