the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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