butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
