im drinking this country out of the recession.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
