Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
