I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
