I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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