fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
