your room smells of hookers.
And success
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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