Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
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I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize