OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
