My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
