Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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