Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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