Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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