so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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