I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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