Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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