I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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