please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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