the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
