Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
