we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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