Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
