she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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