After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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