i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
