Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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