My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
