I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
