having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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