I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
