You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
