I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
