Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
