She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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