It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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