i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
