He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
