I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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