im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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