Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
