i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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