Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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