We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
