She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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