Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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