I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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