But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
