At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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